Chivu: I Still Feel Like an Intern; If Not, I Shouldn't Be in This Profession

Inter Milan coach Chivu was interviewed by the renowned Italian football podcast "Cronache di Spogliatoio." This article is the first part of that interview.

Do you still consider yourself a coach in the apprenticeship phase?

Yes, I think I'm still an apprentice. But that's how I do things and my philosophy—because having uncertainty and doubt in my mind allows me to stay curious and brave enough to step out of my comfort zone. I think if one day I no longer see myself as an apprentice, then I should probably stop in this profession. Because, given my personality, having doubt, feeling uncertain, exploring new things, learning new information, studying, testing, and challenging myself is what keeps the passion alive and drives my enthusiasm to move forward.

But on the other hand, do you feel you have a very long career ahead of you in this industry, with life still waiting?

No, I don't feel that way. Because I know that from how you understand certain things, this world can take a lot from you. It carries the risk of having to wear a certain "mask" at certain times, which I really don't like. If one day I get trapped in, or consumed by, a part of this industry that I don't like, I think I would choose to stop.

Therefore, I don't think I have a lifetime in this industry. I live in the present, doing my best today, and preparing for tomorrow. But I haven't set a 10-year, 5-year, or 20-year limit on my time in this industry, because I believe that sooner or later, someone reaches a stage where they have to wear a mask for various reasons, and I will try my best to avoid that situation.

Well, I want to go back two years ago when you first visited our studio, and then we'll look at some specific questions...

Two years ago, when Chivu was interviewed on "Cronache di Spogliatoio," he said: "I fight with myself and the whole world. Despite the difficulties, I always try to find solutions on my own, never seeking help from outside. But then I really needed help, because I couldn't get out of that situation on my own, so I even sought help from a psychologist."

"At that time, something happened in Rome that shook me and made me feel pain. I often vomited after matches, etc. My big toe was sprained, and the doctor said I had to use crutches, that everything had to stop, and I didn't know for how long. So I came home with crutches. The match was on Saturday, but on Friday night, Spalletti called me and said: 'I don't have any center backs available; they're all injured. Do you think you could play?' I was still on crutches at that point, and my foot couldn't even touch the ground."

"But I still went to the stadium on crutches, got injected, and went out to play. There was jeering throughout the stadium, incredible jeering. I even cried while playing.It was a very difficult period because I had serious doubts about whether I could return to the pitch and play again. It had just happened, and my entire left side was paralyzed. It was clearly not easy to deal with, but at that time, I was just grateful to be alive."

"The situation after surgery was even more complicated. I went from fearing death, fearing that I would never be a normal person again, never be a good husband and father, to being filled with doubt about my future—doubt that I still haveto this day. After your head is operated on, everything will never be the same again, right? Once it's been opened, you can never go back to how you were. I hope everything works out for me, because then the specialists said everything was normal, but who knows what will happen in the future?"

Do you remember these things?

Of course I remember.

The last time you were here, you had never coached a Serie A team as head coach...

And I was younger then,

and thinner?

Thinner, with less gray hair, but actually not much has changed. There are two things I need to mention because they're very important. First, the coaching opportunity that Parma gave me, and then the coaching opportunity that Inter Milan gave me. So now we're discussing one and a half years of experience as a professional head coach in Serie A, and that has indeed changed.

But from a human perspective, nothing has changed, because I believe I'm still the same person, still with the ambition and passion I've always had, and in other respects, I still give my best. Yes, I continue to try to be the best every day, trying to convey energy, enthusiasm, love, and passion for football.

You once told me, and I don't know if you've ever said it publicly, that sometimes you wake up in the morning and don't even know where you are?

Yes, that's when you have to play every three days. This situation is actually quite good, because after all, the team I manage prefers to play rather than go through boring training sessions all week with five straight training sessions. But it's really tough for us, for me, for the coaching staff, for everyone who immediately starts thinking about the next match once the current one ends, because in less than 72 hours or exactly 72 hours, you have to be back on the pitch.

So, at this pace of one match every three days, you might be able to get through six consecutive matches, but on the seventh match, when you open your eyes in the morning, you no longer know where you are. You don't know if you're in a hotel, you don't know what you've been doing, like preparing all the video clips, defensive aspects, offensive aspects, and post-match analysis from the match you just played... So it really becomes something that's truly disorienting.

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